Romance is Never Hopeless
Ahh. The air is crisp, everyone is wearing scarves, and it’s now acceptable to wear my favorite boots. Hello, Autumn. I have to say that I really missed you. Today is my birthday, and I feel bad for everyone else that I’m not doing anything. The promise of nothing was so alluring that I made no plans on purpose. Whenever anyone says “Are you doing anything fun?” I say, “I’m sleeping in. That’s fun.” It is. After working my butt off for nearly two weeks, sleeping in and doing nothing is the best birthday present to myself I could have ever gotten (given?). I guess it’s moderately taboo in today’s world to have a day filled with nothing, lest you want to be called a lazy mooch. So here I am, mooching lazily off of some cafe’ wifi, blogging and searching for dead links on the MoreLoveLetters page. Birthday perfection.
Have you ever noticed that people tend to use the phrase “hopeless romantic” a lot? Do they even know what that phrase means? There’s a few ways to think about it. According to Urban Dictionary (dear lawd), this is the definition:
This person is in love with love.They believe in fairy tales and love.They’re not to be confused as stalkers or creepy because that’s not what a hopeless romantic is. All hopeless romantics are idealists,the sentimental dreamers,the imaginative and the fanciful when you get to know them.They often live with rose colored glasses on.They make lovelook like an art form with all the romantic things they do for their special someone.
When it comes down to it, that’s probably an accurate representation of what crosses the typical mind when thinking of hopeless romance. Someone who loves love, with “rose colored glasses on.” A hopeless romantic is someone who believes in love as the cause and the cure, in a society that pushes its cold, technological vibe into every aspect of life. They are someone who believes in the perfect love, but for whatever reason, cannot have it. By this simple definition, hopelessness comes from being an idealist, and believing in something so… oldschool. Chivalry, at best. Something that, by every mean, should permeate the world we live in, yet it does not. Why is it so “hopeless” to believe in the honesty of love? Thusfar, we have hopelessness in believing in love. Now that we have that, let’s look at romance.
Now, this is where the search gets tricky. If you type “what is romance” into your favorite search engine, you’ll get romance quizzes, how-to guides, and trashy articles that tell you how to bring ‘romance’ into a one night stand. With the technological era, the true ideal of romance as an entity has been lost. Romance isn’t just emotional or physical attraction to another being; romance, real romance is a feeling that transcends any physical sense or connection between beings. It really isn’t about being human at all. Romance is about being and feeling and wanting something greater than yourself. Being so incredibly passionate about something or someone, an idea or perspective, a goal, or a future. It is so important that you will dedicate your entire being to that one thing. For many, romance is finding the absolutely perfect partner- the one person that makes life worth living. For others, it is having a passion that takes a front row seat to most other things. For me, romance is something that has a hidden beauty that I want to expose to the world. My father finds romance in machines, I find romance in empathy and human interactions, and More Love Letters finds romance in the written word. You can’t deny that romance is often paired with love letters and butterflies, the feeling you get when you thought you were in love for the first time, and that feeling you get when you really do find love. Perfection. And there it is. The reason behind the hopelessness.
Perfection.
That’s it. Striving towards the ideal of perfection is what creates hopelessness in romance. Finding the perfect someone when human beings were made to have flaws. Being the perfect machinist when technology is so quickly obsolete. Writing the perfect letter when words so often fall short of true expression. The greatest moments are created when backed by that hopeless romantic mood. When you get that spurt of inspiration that makes you drop what you’re doing and run, not walk, towards that one person or thing or moment. Or. Or not. Or you never do because, like everyone says, you’re a hopeless romantic. Hopeless because what you want is unattainable, or maybe it is and you don’t believe it. We as a society are so incredibly jaded; we constantly believe that dreams are necessary, but completely irrational. We dream to get through the lives that we live, instead of living to create a life out of our dreams. Luckily, I found a group of people that believe dreams are part of our reality- you just have to look deep into the threads of society, and read between those perfectly formed lines to find them.
The More Love Letters Team is made of hopeless romantics. But you know what? That isn’t an accurate description. We are a group of hopeful romantics. We believe in love as a cause and a cure, in a world that has turned a blind eye to romance. Founder Hannah Brencher is one of the few modern beings that has found a way to follow her dreams and create an organization based on reminding the world that romance is a thing. It started with a love letter, written in that hopeless romantic moment, and is now a great part of the future. Every one of the team members, and all of the people that choose to write with us on a daily basis, believe that love and passion for every choice and every walk of life is a necessity to our future. I am so fortunate to have found a group that has known my heart long before even I have. So here we are. A bunch of hopeless hopeful romantics that believe that we can change the world, one love letter, one kind word, one pen, one piece of paper, one heartfelt “you can do this” at a time.
Don’t let the people make you think
That just because you’re young you’re useless
You know it’s not naive to think that you can change the things around
And that no man is an island.For I’d rather be a pebble than
An ocean vast and dry
Alone they make no sounds– Get Cape. Wear Cape. Fly. : Once More with Feeling
Join the movement of Hopeful Romantics at www.moreloveletters.com and know that you are not alone.
With love and love letters,
J
Extra Special Requests
Today we were given our special requests through More Love Letters. Each of the Letter Writers on the team are paired with 3-5 people that need letters. These letters are a bit more personal, and have the potential to rock us emotionally. As I was reading my requests, I felt my stomach knot and my heart sank. These are stories that you wish would never happen to anyone, because having similar if not identical situations happen to you should have been enough for the world. Those situations that make you wish that you could live through them alone, just so no one should have to experience them with you. I feel connected to every single one of these people, and I believe that’s the point of being a Letter Writer. You are matched with someone you can really connect to so you can pour your heart, your tears, and your memories onto the paper, hoping that maybe they won’t have to feel alone.
I have so much respect for the girls that have been doing this for a year now. They have had a year of emails and letters that were begging them to change their friend’s/family’s lives for the better. It’s a lot of responsibility, and it takes someone strong to be able to provide advice without being a counselor. To be able to connect with the receiver without reconnecting with the memory of pain and heartbreak. To be able to pour your heart out without pouring that burden onto your letter receiver. It’s a lot to handle. And the thing is… I’m so ready for this.
You don’t have to be alone. I’ll always be here. Even if I can’t help you, if I can’t be by your side, I’ll be here with my cursive and my letters. I’ll be here to think of you, and send positive thoughts into the universe for you to combat the bad ones. I’ll be here to to battle the negative karma that is spinning toward you by telling the world just how great you really are, and maybe that karma has the wrong mailing address. Because I have the right one, and I know that the person who receives these letters deserves to smile.
More Love Letters is wonderful, and I’m so grateful to be a part of it.
With love and love letters,
J
TED Talk & Spreading the Love
http://talentsearch.ted.com/video/Hannah-Brencher-The-world-needs;TEDNew-York
Check out Hannah Brencher’s TED Talk about the creation of The World Needs More Love Letters and how handwritten letters are necessary in our techno-fueled society. The voting is over, but you can still leave comments on the talk. Hannah did a wonderful job pouring her heart out into a spoken-word type of format, and it really gets you at the end. If you still need something to push you in the direction of checking it out, watch the TED Talk.
As I was watching this video, I was thinking about a question that I was asked yesterday on my journey through the craft store: “Who writes the love letters?” I’ve had to think about this until now just because it is such a complex question, really without meaning to be. Who writes the letters?
Everyone writes the love letters. People who stumble upon the site, like myself, write the love letters. People who have never seen a computer, but had the fortune to find one of the hundreds of thousands of letters in circulation right now; they write the letters. Best friends of the broken hearted, broken spirited, physically, emotionally broken; they write the letters. People who know people who know about the site or have had friends find the letters end up writing letters. Ramen-fueled, late-night collegiates write the letters. Stay-at-home moms and busy, working moms write letters. Managers at department stores, and coffee shop frequenters write the letters. People who wear their heart on their sleeves, and people that aren’t sure that they have any heart left; they write the letters. Those who spend sleepless nights composing would-be conversations and letters to others in their heads as the hours pull away; they write the letters. Maybe, someday, you’ll find yourself writing letters across the world to someone you haven’t met, just because you know they need it. We write letters to our families, friends, bosses, and coworkers each day. Put one aside that is purely feel-good, no business or strings attached, but unlimited warm-fuzzies included. Send them to hannah@moreloveletters.com and she’ll find someone in need of your letter.
Everyone writes the love letters.
J
Home Base
So I went to work this morning around 6am, to serve all of the Morning Warriors their wakeup call in a cup. I decided to write a letter and drop it in the lobby, hoping that it would make someone’s day on their way to work after they stopped in. I realize that I need to start taking pictures, but it’s always too late (next time, maybe?). This note was written on a lovely stationary piece from the “Enchanted” bundle I got yesterday, so I was very excited about it. Turns out that the letter circulated through several hands, brought strangers together in congratulations of getting through the first hour of their wakefulness before caffeine, and landed in the hands of my manager.
I was a little bit nervous about him telling me not to leave these kinds of things around the cafe’, but I honestly don’t think he knew it was from me. Luckily, cups can only be marked in print, and I only write letters in cursive. This is a trick I pulled when I was in the note-passing prime of my school years. I would spend my time writing in either print or cursive for homework and in-class assignments, and would write notes to classmates or professor evaluations in the other form. That way, if a note was found or a review was disliked, it couldn’t be traced back to me. It was purely coincidental this time around, but I’m alright with it. My manager passed it to a few of my coworkers and kept it in hour labor binder, where baristas often check their schedule and shift placement for the day. So it was an unintended, unexpected outcome that happened for potentially the better. Who knows, maybe I’ll tell them soon, but I’ll give them some time to meditate on the warm fuzzies of a found love note from a stranger.
I hope your day is filled with love, and you make it through the afternoon drawl with the determination of my Morning Warriors that I see on my morning shifts.
J
First Timers
The beginning of the journey. I’m a sucker for paper and pens any day of the year, so of course joining up with The World Needs More Love Letters was a fantastic excuse to go stationary hunting. JoAnn Fabrics was having a bundle stationary sale… coincidence? I think not. One of the employees asked me what I was planning to do with the paper, maybe she could help. I told her about the site and she handed me a 20% off coupon because “I like what you’re doing. The world needs it.” Stocked up and ready to go.
I penned my first letter in the car on my new Ever After stationary, to the tune of “You are beautiful.” I had to do some returns at Target, so I figured I would drop it in the dressing room or the like. I never realized how difficult it would be to do a drop at a popular store like Target. Do you ever get that feeling that people are staring at you, like they think that you’re going to pocket something? Try walking around, dodging folks so you can “casually drop” a piece of paper where you think someone will walk through and find it. Maybe I should be less sketchy, and not be afraid to be seen doing something I feel good about. That’s a message for Life.
J
Everything has a Beginning
This blog was made to chronicle a-day-in-the-life on my year off and beyond, beginning with my start at MoreLoveLetters.com as a Letter Writer. Below is my introduction letter that I submitted, with a nuance of creative writing threaded within.
Hello, World. Hello to the lovesick, hopeless and helpless, dreamstruck souls out there. Greetings to the big personalities and the even BIGGER hearts that find themselves in the most necessary of places. Nice to meet you, rockstar in waiting. I’m Jen, and I love to write.
I want you to know that I’ve been shaped and molded by Life’s every experience just so that I would be ready for the day that I meet you. Every single person in the universe that is on a collision-ready course headed straight for me. Hello. It’s nice to meet you. I’m Jen, and I love to sing.
I believe that a good book, good friends, and a good cup of coffee (or tea!) can be a great remedy for a sore heart. I’m a tea enthusiast that works in a coffee shop, explaining every day why it’s okay to like both, one, or neither. If you come into my shop, I promise I’ll do my best to have you leaving in higher spirits than when you came in. Whether it’s singing to you while pulling espresso shots at the bar, or dancing for all 8 seconds that it takes for our blender to stop, I’m sure you won’t expect someone to be so dedicated to your happiness at 6am on a Monday morning. Or any day, really. Hello. It’s nice to meet you. I’m Jen, and I love to learn.
Whenever I felt the need to travel or learn something new, I’d open up a new book. Leave me in a bookstore with a good café and a pocket full of change, and watch me fly to the moon. I’m taking a year off from my studies (Doctorate of Physical Therapy or bust!) to catch up on myself, and the things/people I love. I’m taking a year off of school, but I’m not done learning. I’m taking whatever lesson Life throws at me and passing the Final Exam, maybe with less than flying colors. But I’m passing. Hello. It’s nice to meet you. I’m Jen, and I believe that the world needs More Love Letters.
Hope to talk to you soon.
J
So it begins. Visit MoreLoveLetters.com to find out more about the project.